How to become a feudal lord with hundreds of servants for $99

Our image of a medieval king is of somebody with hundreds of servants waiting upon His Majesty. Today, for $99, you commoners can get a much larger and better group waiting upon you. You will even have dead servants working for you – (1) Sumerians from 3000 BC (2) Babylonians from 2000 BC, (3) Egyptians from 1850 BC (4) Indians from 500 BC, (5) 7th century BC Romans, (6) 18th century Austrian musicians, (7) a 19th century professor from Lake Como. Living servants of yours have learned valuable things from the dead servants and added their own service. Your living workers come from (8) New York, (9) Dallas, (10) California, (11) Japan, (12) Taiwan, (13) Singapore, (14) Democratic Republic of the Congo, and (15) China. This remarkable $99 service plan is contained in a small object called an iPhone.

It has contributions from all of the above, such as (1) the sexagesimal system (60 minutes to an hour and 60 seconds to a minute), (2) the calendar and the 24 hour day, (3) arithmetic, (4) decimal numerals, (5) the Latin alphabet, (6) Mozart and Haydn tunes, (7) Alessandro Volta, inventor of the electric battery, (8) the retail store where I bought my iPhone, (9) AT&T headquarters, (10) Apple, Google, Twitter, Facebook (11) the screen, (12) circuit boards, (13) the chips, (14) the mineral coltan used in cell phones, and (15) final assembly